Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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