I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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