a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
