Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You did what with his pubic hair?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
