I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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