420 ftw
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
