Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
