fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
