I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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