I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
