Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
