You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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