these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
