i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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