Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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