I hate your face
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
