great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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