Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
