they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
