I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
