Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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