There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
