Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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