How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
no you cant smoke seaweed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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