I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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