They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
