i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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