3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
