I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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