She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
