i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
