ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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