THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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