He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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