Just cropdusted the office
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
