The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
