smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
