turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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