drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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