Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
