So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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