this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
