i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
