His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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