DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
