youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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