yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
