Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
