ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
