If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
