and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
