There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
