I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
